Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Deployments and High School Dating

Last night in a moment of weakness I sprayed my husband's cologne on my pillow. I opened the medicine cabinet/bathroom mirror to do my nightly routine (wash, moisturize, brush, floss, rinse, etc) and there it stood, his signature scent. I thought back to when we were dating and I would send him a shirt with my perfume on it sealed in a plastic baggy (gag...i know). My only excuse is that we were thousands of miles apart and were lucky to see each other once every six months (I didn't say it was a good excuse). So I did the unthinkable...yes...I took that cologne and sprayed it on my pillow. As I was lying there surrounded by his smell and wishing I hadn't been so generous with the amount I had sprayed (cough, cough), it hit me...our deployment relationship has so many similarities to dating...even high school dating. Maybe I'm the only one, I'm not sure but the parallels kept coming to me one after another as I flipped the pillow over to try and weaken the smell. Here's a few things that I couldn't help but laugh about:

1. Any little reminder of them can brighten your day or bring you to tears
2. You name drop...you can't help it, it's like word vomit. Everything makes you think of him. Case and point, my last few weeks have sounded like this, "Oh ROBERT loves this dessert!" "ROBERT is so good at this game, he's just a natural." "This is ROBERT'S favorite book." You get the idea.
3. If/when you get a phone call from him, excitement flows.
4. If/when you miss a phone call him, you are so mad at yourself for not having you phone on you 24/7, even if you were in the shower it's not excuse and you add a waterproof phone case to the shopping list.
5. Your phone conversations may only last 5 minutes but your emails/letters are epic novels.
6. You go to bed thinking of them every night.
7. You do the craziest things to remind yourself of them, sleep in their tshirts, spray their cologne on your pillow, or make their favorite foods.

Like I said before, maybe this is just me, but I couldn't help but notice what was right in front of me last night. Your deployment relationship is so different that your actual relationship. The before-mentioned list was meant to be somewhat entertaining, but in all seriousness I'm realizing the challenges that this can bring. You go from being independent and having your own schedule to having this person who was absent for the last (insert number) months thrown back into your daily life. We don't even have children, so I can't imagine how much it impacts your life when you have that in the mix. I guess what I am learning is that it's all a balance and you must above all things be flexible.

Also, you must cling to the positive. I know that when my husband comes home I will be so much more thankful for him than when he left. I know that even though it will cause an adjustment to my routine, I'll be grateful to have my best friend back. And I know even though our time apart isn't easy, it's a time that I've been given to grow. I can choose to rely on myself or others for comfort or I can choose to rely on my Heavenly Father. I think sometimes I forget how much I can choose in this life. I will choose to be positive and thankful. I will control what I can, and that's my attitude and my daily habits. After all, I did choose to be a Marine's wife and I'm so thankful that I did!


 

4 comments:

  1. Oh my love! This rings so true! In the past few months, I've done the same exact thing! Sometimes I'm glad & other times I think I'm crazy. My little guy is 3 & this morning asked if he could smell like Daddy. (Daddy lets him use his cologne occasionally when he's here!) It's nice having a mini-Kevin around but I miss him that much more! The time does go almost quickly & when they are home it is so much sweeter! I never thought about comparing it to high school dating but oh so true! Thanks for sharing, it really is amazing for me to read :-)

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  2. You made me laugh & cry, two of my favorite things...lol
    And you made me proud! That seems to be a recurring theme ;-)
    Love you both!

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  3. LOVE LOVE. And I totally slept in Grant's t-shirts!

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  4. Ashlee...that is such a sweet and adorable story! I hope your time continues to fly by! Mom...you're hilarious. :D GraceAnna...I'm so glad I got to have one last coffee date with you and take you to the airport today. I'll miss you girl, keep me posted on everything in Beaufort!

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