Deployments and High School Dating

Last night in a moment of weakness I sprayed my husband's cologne on my pillow. I opened the medicine cabinet/bathroom mirror to do my nightly routine (wash, moisturize, brush, floss, rinse, etc) and there it stood, his signature scent. I thought back to when we were dating and I would send him a shirt with my perfume on it sealed in a plastic baggy (gag...i know). My only excuse is that we were thousands of miles apart and were lucky to see each other once every six months (I didn't say it was a good excuse). So I did the unthinkable...yes...I took that cologne and sprayed it on my pillow. As I was lying there surrounded by his smell and wishing I hadn't been so generous with the amount I had sprayed (cough, cough), it hit me...our deployment relationship has so many similarities to dating...even high school dating. Maybe I'm the only one, I'm not sure but the parallels kept coming to me one after another as I flipped the pillow over to try and weaken the smell. Here's a few things that I couldn't help but laugh about:

1. Any little reminder of them can brighten your day or bring you to tears
2. You name drop...you can't help it, it's like word vomit. Everything makes you think of him. Case and point, my last few weeks have sounded like this, "Oh ROBERT loves this dessert!" "ROBERT is so good at this game, he's just a natural." "This is ROBERT'S favorite book." You get the idea.
3. If/when you get a phone call from him, excitement flows.
4. If/when you miss a phone call him, you are so mad at yourself for not having you phone on you 24/7, even if you were in the shower it's not excuse and you add a waterproof phone case to the shopping list.
5. Your phone conversations may only last 5 minutes but your emails/letters are epic novels.
6. You go to bed thinking of them every night.
7. You do the craziest things to remind yourself of them, sleep in their tshirts, spray their cologne on your pillow, or make their favorite foods.

Like I said before, maybe this is just me, but I couldn't help but notice what was right in front of me last night. Your deployment relationship is so different that your actual relationship. The before-mentioned list was meant to be somewhat entertaining, but in all seriousness I'm realizing the challenges that this can bring. You go from being independent and having your own schedule to having this person who was absent for the last (insert number) months thrown back into your daily life. We don't even have children, so I can't imagine how much it impacts your life when you have that in the mix. I guess what I am learning is that it's all a balance and you must above all things be flexible.

Also, you must cling to the positive. I know that when my husband comes home I will be so much more thankful for him than when he left. I know that even though it will cause an adjustment to my routine, I'll be grateful to have my best friend back. And I know even though our time apart isn't easy, it's a time that I've been given to grow. I can choose to rely on myself or others for comfort or I can choose to rely on my Heavenly Father. I think sometimes I forget how much I can choose in this life. I will choose to be positive and thankful. I will control what I can, and that's my attitude and my daily habits. After all, I did choose to be a Marine's wife and I'm so thankful that I did!


 

Two Great Reads for Military Wives

Since Robert has left for his "summer cruise" I've found myself reading more than ever. I've gone through two books since he left and am half way through another one. I realize everyone has different ways of coping with deployments and times apart in the military. Reading may not be your thing, I never in a million years thought it would be mine! I'm not much of a reader to begin with, outside of things that pertain to photography or design. I always told myself, "when I get out of school I'll read all the time, because it'll be for pleasure and not forced." Well I've been out of school for several years now and yes what....the Twilight series is probably the most I've read, as embarrassing as that is to admit, it's true.

My goal while Robert is gone is to fill my head with as much beneficial reading as possible. The first book I picked up, God + Military Spouse, I had skimmed through before and it was actually given to me by the author. I attended a small group bible study at a friend's house and she was there and gave me a copy of her book. She's a Navy wife that has survived many deployments and hardships that come with this lifestyle. Her book is an easy read that feels more like a conversation than anything else. She's passionate, I hope you didn't take the phrase an "easy read" to mean that it's not challenging material. Cline talks about certain things that we need to hear that we may not want to hear. Like the fact that God provides us with female friends to support us and lean on during deployments and separation. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that for the 6+ months our husbands are gone we're not going to have contact with the opposite sex, but we need to be wise. Be aware of the situations that we put ourselves into, because that's exactly who's in control of our actions...us. I know some people will read that last few sentences and think I'm a prude, but if that's what it takes for my husband never to doubt my love and faithfulness to him and for me to not end up in a horrible situation, then hello...I'm Miss Prude!

The other book that I have absolutely fallen in love with is Hope for the Home Front. Marshele Carter Waddell has been married to a US Navy Seal for over 25 years and has been blessed with 3 children. If I had to sum her book up in a word it would be, honest. It was refreshing to hear an honest, Godly perspective on this crazy lifestyle. While reading her book, I couldn't help but think about Paul's words in 2 Corinthians 11. It's towards the end of the chapter, he's defending his apostleship and begins listing everything he's been through:

Imprisonments
Danger of death
Beatings of numerous kinds
Shipwrecked
Danger of robbers
Danger of his countrymen
Danger of the Gentiles
Danger of the city
Danger of the wilderness
Danger of the seas
Danger among false brethren
Labor
Hardships
Hungry
Thirsty
Exposed

The list goes on, but you get the idea. While reading this book I realized Waddell has quite an impressive list of deployments, injuries, moves, children, missed holidays, lost loved ones, lost friends, foreign countries, feeling lost, feeling depressed, feeling alone, disgusting living arrangements, small paychecks, and broken appliances, cars and whatever else you can image that always seem to happen when your spouse isn't around. She's more than capable to be writing this book and I'm grateful that she did. It takes someone like that who's been through all this and is still standing on the other side of it smiling and clinging to their faith to pass on their wisdom. As a young and fairly new military wife, it's great to dwell on the positive and God-centered truths that someone else can bring out of what could be devastating situations. This was an extremely encouraging read for me.

If you would have told me 4 years ago that I would one day be living in a foreign country and married to a US Marine, I can honestly say I wouldn't have believed you, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying it's easy but depending on God and not myself or even my husband for that matter, makes it easier. I definitely haven't perfected that last sentence, it's a constant struggle. I realize how blessed I am when I look around at the women who's husbands are gone far more frequent than mine and it's humbling. The pride that I have in my husband and what he stands for is unexplainable...and sight of him in his dress blues doesn't hurt either! ;D I hope that if you're in need of a good read you'll think about these books. Enjoy.

Update through Pictures

Thanksgiving was amazing! My friend Allie and I prepared our first turkey together and we had a blast making all the other fixins. My parents came in to join us and so did many other friends. I'm so thankful for friends and family.








Sam & Dulcy (Robert's parents) came in for Robert's promotion to Sgt. It was a complete surprise. They met us at our favorite restaurant in town and Robert was beside himself. He couldn't believe they were there. I'm honestly shocked that I did not spill the beans before they arrived, but somehow I kept the cat in the bag! We also had a very early Christmas, as we were packing for Japan this past week and had to get all the large objects packed. Thanks so much to Robert's fam, it was a great couple of days!




Robert's promotion went very smoothly. I was a bit nervous because I was pinning him (I removed his former Cpl Chevrons and replaced them with his new Sgt Chevrons). What an honor! The Commanding Officer was teasing me that I could put them on upside down or sideways if I wanted, but I got it just right. After the ceremony we finally went to Sgt White's BBQ. It was definitely worth the wait, you must try it if you're ever in Beaufort, SC.







This was taken on our second trip to Sgt White's BBQ. We went on Friday because we needed some comfort food after working ourselves to death this week. We are officially packed (our three shipments are on their way to Japan and storage...where ever that might be) and moved out of our rent house...thank you Jesus! Thanks to great friends who are so helpful and generous...what would we do without you?!



Tomorrow morning we're off to DC and NY to celebrate Robert's birthday and our last big trip before we head out of country for three years. Make sure and watch David Letterman on Dec 16 (Robert's Bday) because we won tickets!!! Lots more pictures to come after this week :D

So much to blog, so little time

No, you are not mistaken that is Mrs. Obama and Dr. Biden! I had the privilege to attend the Blue Star Familiy/ServiceNation event in Washington D.C. on Veterans Day. Michelle Obama, Jill Biden and Alma Powell joined us as we honored families of troops and sent letters of encouragement and thanks boxes provided by Target's generous donations. Read more about this amazing event on Blue Star Families Website.



My friend Tavia and I attended the event together. We are the CoDirectors of Blue Star Families Beaufort, SC. We had a great time getting to meet the other BSF volunteers. We navigated the DC metro like old pros. We managed to arrive on time and with all our luggage...thank the LORD!



This is an example of the cards that were sent to military families saying thank you for their sacrifice. That's our mission with Blue Star Families. We empower and encourage the families. There are so many support systems in place for troops, but families often fall through the cracks. If you would like to write to these amazing families please go the BSF website to learn how. You can make a difference in the life of a military spouse, child, parent or veteran.



On Saturday we attended our second Marine Corps Ball as a married couple....awww! We drove out to the Hilton Head Marriot for the ball. It was a great night of dinner and dancing with great friends. It's so much fun to all dressed up and go out with my handsome Marine.

The best news of all is that Robert is being promoted to Sgt on December 1! We are beyond excited and so thankful that it's happening at such a great time (before the move to Okinawa). This means that we will finally be able to eat at Sgt White's BBQ. It's been a running joke that Robert won't eat there as a Cpl and out of respect our friends have not eaten there either....haha! Can't wait to get a taste of this bbq, hope it's worth the wait :D

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

Thank you to all of you who helped with the ball gown give away! We had an amazing turn out of over 200 people and an even more amazing donation of over 250 dresses. It was a great night with wonderful food and tons of smiling faces. Thank you for making it possible for so many Marine wives to be able to have a free dress for the Marine Corps Ball. A special thank you goes out to all you who donated, to my mother-in-law and father-in-law who volunteered to be a drop off for dresses, to my sister-in-law who put up a blog and helped collect several dresses, and to my mom & dad for collecting dresses and packing 30+ dresses in their vehicle on their way to visit us in SC! You guys were all so amazing! Please enjoy the following photos of the night (I was the volunteer event photographer :D)

Silence is Golden

Yesterday, I had to privilege to accompany Robert to the see Marine Corps Silent Drill Team on base at Parris Island. I had never seen them perform and it was absolutely amazing. They were so in sync and did it all in complete and utter silence. It was like they were floating across the field. They carry M1 Garands...well actually they do very little "carrying." The way they move with them, one Marine actually threw one behind his back, over his head and then the Marine across from him did the same and they caught each other's weapon. I look forward to being able to see them perform many more times during Robert's career in the Marine Corp!

Welcome to the Whitehouse!

Hello all! We've decided to start a blog since we'll be moving to Japan in January/February of 2010, it will help our families and friends be able to keep up with what's going on in our lives. In order to get in the swing of things we figured we'd start while we're in the states.

On, Monday August 10 at 8 am Robert re-enlisted for another 4 years in the United States Marine Corps. This was a big decision because after this enlistment is up he'll have a total 0f 9 years in the Marines which means he would want to continue on to the full 20 to be a career Marine. A huge amount of prayer and seeking wise council went into this decision, but at the end of the day Robert realized that he loves his job and loves being a Marine. I also love being a Marine wife, the community has been amazing so far and I look forward to the next 15 years or more!





Later that night I treated Robert to a dinner out at one of favorite places downtown called, Plums. We had a great time and went for a walk by the water and had a fabulous night celebrating.